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    A Quick Thank You And Some Comforting Words (VIDEO)

    I am, at first glance, a “short Asian girl.” I don’t blame you, I won’t call you racist, but that is what I look like if you had 10 seconds to make a call by appearance.
    Preface on who I am, because my ethnicity seems to have taken a complete 180 in the past year. All my life people have looked at me and their first impression (can’t blame them) is: short Asian girl. I was born in Makati, got my citizenship out here and swore in by the time I was 18, but that didn’t change my heritage of Filipino/Spanish decent. I married a man who is Puerto Rican and Taiwanese. We had a lot in common, including, checking the OTHER (_X_) box in every test we had to take, every form we had to fill out. So you can imagine the MIX our children have. However, in the span of a year, because my views are more conservative and I did not side with all my fellow minority friends when it came to politics, I was suddenly spoken to like I was no longer one of them. You should read some of the messages I’ve received. Categorized in the “you people will never understand” category or “you don’t get it since you’re not a person of color…” umm… what shade of WHITE GIRL do I look like to you? Because I can promise you it’s not there.
     
    Wanna know the biggest difference perhaps between myself and those living in fear of the unknown? How we were raised. That’s the only thing I can attribute it to. I am 5 foot nothing. I was always the tiniest kid in my class. I was called all of it from “shrimp”, “midget” … all of it. Yes, I would go home crying. Obviously my parents had to console me – and it is their WORDS that made the impact. Their WORDS that made the impact. It would have been too easy for them to say things to me like ‘you know what Talia, you’re small… and life is going to be harder for you. You are also a minority and that’s going to be really tough. You’re not going to have the same chances and benefits as the little white children in your school…” NO. They knew those words would neither console or help me “grow”. My father used words like, “you may be little, but you are the biggest and the best for the job!” He would say things like, “you can do whatever you want to do in this life Talia.” When people would use cruel words he would tell me, “they’re only human. They’re human beings… don’t you ever let another human being make you feel any less. We are all ONLY HUMAN.”
     

    Who are these parents who are struggling with what to tell their children? I can tell you what NOT to say… how about you don’t instill fear of the unknown in your child? I’m hoping the people concerned have children who are OF AGE to be talking about politics… because my kids being 3 and 6 really could care less… so why worry them with things that may never happen? Who is really tucking in their children at night saying things like “you’re going to have to try harder in this world because of the color of your skin. You won’t be accepted. You were not born white.” You can stop telling them that ONLY pretty girls get their way… that paths are easier for people because of their looks. Even if that is what you TRULY believe in your heart because that’s what you were told as a child… don’t tell that to your children. That’s clipping their wings. SEE what they can do with positive words where they are living in a world seeing only the possibilities of all they can achieve. It’s okay to admit when you or your parents were wrong. We are all, once again, only human. With as much as I love my parents and their advice, there were some things they’ve said or done in life that I personally do not agree with… and that’s okay. We have different views… and that’s okay. But when you talk to your child from such a young age when their imaginations are supposed to be thriving, you are CRIPPLING their chances. These words are POISON. They will NOT help your child… if anything you are just creating the next entitled Kanye West with that attitude of “I did it all by myself! I am here and I am the best!” You can tell them life isn’t fair and they can’t always get what they want. You can tell them about the many countries where there is still just ONE name on the ballot. There are real truths you can share with your children, who are fortunate enough that even if you are poor, they are still in the BEST country in the world to be poor in, and those circumstances can change overnight. You can tell them about how there is still kindness in the world and to surround themselves with it. You can explain to them that THEY CAN DO ANYTHING THEY SET THEIR HEARTS TO… without pointing out all the hurdles they might have in life. Boost up their confidence! Do you know what that can do to a child!? Just telling my husband every day as he leaves for work that I hope he has an amazing day and that I love him sets his day straight! It makes him feel like the hard work is worth it. It is time to LIFT people up… especially our youth.

    If you HAVE to talk about politics to your child… explain to them that we are living in a democracy… and the people made their choice. Look up the electoral college and why it exists. Don’t tell them things like “Hillary lost because she is a woman”…can we not? What is that? WHAT message are you sending to them? Teach them about how to properly handle losing, because they will not always win in life – that’s a guarantee. If they ask about our current president elect, tell them the truth: You’re not sure yet about what he is going to do. But we can pray for guidance, we can pray the right choices are made for this country. We do not put our hopes in people**, in our home we put our hopes in God, because only He promises hope. This society promises happiness with circumstances. Good circumstance = good feeling. But what about the times when we are going through trials? If all you do is seek happiness, you’re setting yourself up for failure. It’s okay to want happiness, but to expect it at all times is incredibly naive. We can start teaching these things to our children, without discouraging them that the color of their skin or their appearance can have any effect on this. Because clearly, look at the leaders we currently have… America has accepted success in all shapes, colors, and sizes for generations now.

     
    So THANK YOU, Mom and Dad, for choosing to only shining light on my possibilities instead of my weaknesses. For not crippling me at the gate. For knowing that if I were to dwell on the things about myself that I was not able to change (like my color and height), I would have been stunted in more ways than the obvious. 😉 You chose your words wisely, and I am forever grateful and plan on following your formula when it comes to raising my own kids.
    And to those who are sad and fearful thinking… I am losing friends over my views, (because I too have been feeling this way)… it just dawned on me. No you haven’t. You just won time. Time back to invest in better relationships. You lost people in your life who are closed-minded and stagnant, they are not going anywhere with closed views like that. You will be just fine.<3

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