Written by: Audrey Misha Kirk
Owning yourself. Owning up to who you are without apologies, or with apologies, but not being afraid to stand behind yourself after what you did. To have the courage to look into the mirror and see your real reflection, instead of the mask you decided to hide behind that day, week, or year.
No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. As I get older I am finding myself becoming quite annoyed with people who aren’t who they say they are. Yes. As adults. People (I have been guilty as well) do things and afterwards look the other way and pretend they did not do what they did. Adults seem to have trouble apologizing because they refuse to believe they did anything wrong. They don’t own up to their shit, not even to themselves. This can be a dangerous slippery slope. If you continue to point fingers elsewhere for what is going on in your life, guess what? You will continue to have all the issues you are having because you are the common denominator in them all. You are not willing to take accountability for your own actions.
I believe that high-school was a very experimental phase. You got to learn precious lessons, make mistakes, learn from them hopefully without too many repercussions. You got to tune into yourself. I can say there were not many who already knew every dusty corner of who they were. Then you fast forward. You are an adult.
Watching Charlie Sheen’s roast. He’s quite a character really. Charlie Sheen. He has made mistakes across the board. He has been fired from his career changing role in Two and a Half Men. He was caught with drugs. He was habitually unapologetic for being himself and owned up to every mistake he made. You cannot help but like him. It is because he owns his shit. He messes up but also owns up to it and blames no one but himself. It’s humbling and honest. You love him because he makes no excuses for who he is.
Relationships. If you are in the wrong simply state what it is you did to offend your partner, find peace, and move on. Most arguments seem to escalate due to the inability to accept you were in the wrong in the first place. The issue most likely was small and the fact that accountability was never owned creates a mess of frustration.
I was not always brave enough to own up to my imperfections. Recently I have been learning to be quite comfortable in my own skin. I love standing behind who I am. Making mistakes, learning from them, and apologizing and owning up for my mistakes if they have offended anyone. I have a few friends who like to spin their stories and love making themselves the victim. The problem with this is that they never grow and they begin to believe that they are in fact the poor victim of their own demise. I stopped listening to their “Poor Jon” stories because when I step away from it I start losing respect for them. I much rather enjoy surrounding myself with people like Amy Schumer. She is blatantly honest with her friends, herself and her millions of viewers. It’s refreshing. She laughs at her habitual mistakes and finds it amusing to tell her truths. When you verbalize out loud what you did wrong and are even able to make a joke with your friends and loved ones and laugh at your imperfections you become raw, authentic, and real. You begin to sit in your own skin and love who you are instead of living in a version of yourself who is not real. When you don’t own up to your “shit” you’re only hurting yourself. So if you want to grow and find inner peace stop lying to yourself. Be who you are, the good, the bad and the ugly. Own up to it and apologize but only when necessary.
Lots of love,
The Landlocked Mermaid
**Below are some snaps from Mozy’s Cafe in Encinitas. I fell in love with Mozy’s the first time I went there. I saw two surfers without shoes on after returning home from traveling. It just feels like California. Cute cafe that is my quick go to when I’m on the run… Which is always. I’m Addicted to their Acai Bowls, home made salsa and Greek Breakfast burritos. It’s food that’s so good you forget you’re eating healthy.
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Photography by: Natalia Cruz