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    Play Dates and an IQ Test &/or Survey To See If You Should Parent.

    I went on a play-date yesterday! Her name is CeeCee, she’s another mom out this way in Vegas (not that there aren’t tens of thousands of moms in Vegas…), and guess what guys? I made a new friend. Yay! Finally a friend out this way. It’s like I’m collecting them, slowly. I only need a few good ones, and she was totally me. When she told me that she likes to work out but doesn’t want to be told what to do, and also stops when she’s tired… I think the clouds parted and a beam of sun hit the back of her head just right. Kinda like God’s way of telling me “see? A friend.” Haha! What does this mean? Well, this means I can take one of the many invites I get to these yoga, lifting, and spin classes… go with CeeCee, and once the instructor goes all Drill-Sergeant on us, we can stop and say, “umm… no.” I have yet to meet someone who “works out” in the same way that I do. You know, when you’re heart feels like it’s going to burst, you don’t need a work out partner who is shouting at you to keep going! You can do it! No… you need someone who can look at you and say, “do you feel like death? Me too. Let’s stop so we don’t have an aneurysm.” It’s all about balance.

    Sebastian also made a friend. CeeCee has a son named JJ. “CC & JJ”, I’m sure she doesn’t get tired of hearing THAT. You’d be proud of me too, I didn’t say it aloud, but how cute is that?! Boys are truly different from girls, hate to state the obvious. But even on these play-dates, when I would take Amelia to the park between the age of 2-4… it was a lot of whining. Girls wanna be fair about everything. They make a stink when someone isn’t giving them a turn or they get their feelings hurt so easily that it’s every 3 minutes you’re playing “peace patrol.” You can’t have a real play-date and even get more than 2 sentences in with the other moms since you’re maintaining your daughter’s feelings. It’s really the worst, which is why I stopped going on them for so long. I mean, one of my favorites in San Diego, Erica, knew the only way her and I could have a real play-date would be to invite me over to her house with the kids… let the kids loose in the play rooms, bust open a bottle of cab, enjoy real conversations and laughs, order a Dominos pizza and some sides, deal with one or two arguments and time outs, and hours later? Jeff would come pick us all up. See? Responsible! 😀 OooOOh… those were some true play-dates.. man! I miss that!

    Seb did well on the playground with JJ. They made another little friend named Beckham. His mom was pregnant and kinda disappeared. Hey moms… don’t do that. I think this mother looked at CeeCee and I in this one spot and assumed we would be there awhile… so she left. Half the time she was in her van, the other half she was on her cell phone. It was bizarre. There was a point where this little boy Beckham ran off towards the parking lot and my son wanted to follow him. I yelled out for Seb to come back, and he did. “But where is my friend going?” Umm.. I don’t know. Last I checked I was not responsible for strangers children. Of course we kept an eye on where this poor kid was going, and with every passing minute I could feel heat coming from my body as I was stressed and irritated with Beckham’s mother for just leaving her kid. Some times we would look back and see a van, other times we were confused and didn’t know where this woman was. Finally she did come around, and it took a lot to not say something to her. I figured though, this is Vegas. Who knows if that’s really a baby in her belly or perhaps she’s practicing her concealed carry rights and could blast me if I showed her attitude. In a perfect world there would be a test you should take before you’re allowed to have kids. Not a tough test, we could even make it multiple choice. It would look something like (I’ll even make the correct answer BOLD for those who might struggle with this):

    1. When is it okay to leave a 3-yr old on a playground alone?  
      1. never
      2. who cares
      3. put me on the alert for CPS
    2. In what case do I ever get to leave my child alone in a car?
      1. never
      2. only if the AC is running and the doors are locked
      3. never
      4. never
    3. My child is throwing a fit in a restaurant, church, or any public place, I..
      1. let them be, they’re just kids
      2. punch them in the face
      3. roll my eyes and act like nothing is happening
      4. say something that I think is cute like “oooHhH Jimmy… you’re not being nice…” and everyone else around me thinks I am a complete idiot and raising the next Hitler.
      5. get the child and excuse ourselves outside to handle the situation like A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
    4. My child demands only chicken nuggets for dinner, every night. So I…
      1. throw in the towel because I give in all the time and admit that my child runs the house, not me.
      2. let them eat chicken nuggets but spend hours trying to sneak some veggies in to their diet by creatively mixing one broccoli in to their smoothie or hiding a lima bean in their ice cream.
      3. stare at them with one eyebrow raised and tell them if they don’t eat what everyone else is eating… then they don’t eat. Make them sit there until they finish their dinner. Show them REAL TOUGH LOVE that they will one day thank you for, and life is so much easier with kids who realize that they don’t have a say in the menu every night and you’re not a f*cking short order cook.

    Should I continue with this? I mean, how I WISH people would have to take an IQ test in order to bring their children home from the hospital. It’s not mean! It’s a public service. And we let you take your child home eventually after we tell you all the correct answers and make you sign something saying you will NEVER LEAVE YOUR BABY ALONE IN A CAR. I’m telling you, common sense is just lost these days, and many times I have to remember when I’m out in public with my children, many parents are in fact just children who haven’t really grown up. Am I saying I am mom-of-the-year? Hardly! Last night I told my husband about this pregnant mom who just left her son there. Anger went to sadness in the reality that this woman is soon going to have another* child to NOT LOOK AFTER when she visits public places. Anything can happen at these places! I turned away from Seb for 15 seconds and when I looked back he was no longer at the slide he was just* at. Thankfully he was just behind me playing… but the point is, even parents who are WATCHING their kids can lose ’em for a second. You just never know. Play-dates are so much safer in confined spaces.

    Anyhow, time to get back to edits and helping my son keep busy this morning. Thanks for reading through, have an amazing weekend everyone! <3

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