Written by: Alexandra Lotzgeselle
When sitting and reminiscing about our new memories the last few months since the birth of our son, I can’t help but feel more emotional about the impending Father’s Day holiday than I did even about my first Mother’s Day. Maybe it’s because I spend all day, every day with our son. Maybe it’s because a holiday like Mother’s Day didn’t really allow any real time for reflection because it’s still more about running in between our own mothers on the holiday. Maybe it’s just because when you first hold the baby you’ve carried for 9+ months, that’s your real Mother’s Day. Whatever the reason, I am so very excited for this Father’s Day!
Right now in our society, it seems to be the trend that women can only be all “I am woman, hear me roar!”, we don’t need men for anything, my body my baby. Society doesn’t seem to want to give men credit for anything unless it is related to females. But when I look at my son, I can’t imagine doing this without my husband, Todd. I’m not saying women don’t do most of the work- I literally have the scars to prove the work I’ve put in. But when we have babies, men don’t just take on the role of a father, they start to wear many other hats. Their role as a provider becomes even more important and their role as a husband evolves. They become therapists and sounding boards, and get to take all your anger when you’re stressed or over-worked from your job as a mother. And all this happens while they are learning to cope with the fact that they have to share their best friend and partner with someone who arguably needs you much more. So, regardless of your opinion on the importance of or the equality of the genders, I propose we take a day off and acknowledge the fathers in our lives. Let’s take a step back and appreciate the great men that have had positive impacts on our lives.
I am one of the luckiest women on the planet when it comes to the men in my life. I have a dad that wakes up every day and CHOOSES to be my father. My biological father was in and out of my life growing up, but has had no contact with me for over a decade. No calls, no emails, no letters. While that may be something that could be upsetting, I consider it a blessing because it doesn’t muddle the relationship I have with my real dad. My real dad, is the man my mom has been with since I was a toddler. He is all I know about what a real father is. He is the man that has chosen for the last 25+ years to be my father- to support me in good times and in bad, and to always be the man I have considered my dad. It takes a big, and very special man to raise a child not genetically his as his own. We’ve had our rough times growing up, as most kids do with their parents at some point, but he is the man that has supported me regardless throughout my life. He has never made me feel like I am lesser because my sister is biologically his and I am not. He has always called me his daughter, and he has always raised me as his own. With all the men bashing going on (albeit deserved in some cases), I’m so happy to shine the light on a man who is going above and beyond and doing something incredible.
Another amazing man I’m lucky to have in my life is of course my husband. On this special day, his very first Father’s Day, I am so happy to shout from the rooftops that I nabbed one of the good ones! Although we’ve been together for about 6.5 years now, I am still head-over-heels in love and smitten with Todd. And watching him become a father did nothing more than make me fall in love with him all over again! Watching him be so kind and sweet, and looking at my manly 6’2” husband rock and kiss our once tiny little baby, melts me to my core. But it’s not all emotions- Todd is growing as a man and a husband, and our relationship somehow manages to continue to become more fun by the day! He has completely embraced becoming a father and I feel so happy that my son is lucky enough to have him.
Some people argue that holidays like Father’s Day are becoming more manufactured and commercialized. That may be true, but I don’t think you should let that get in the way of getting to the real reason behind the day. Just enjoy a Sunday focusing on the great men in your life and all the positives they bring to it. Express your appreciations and let’s all celebrate the dad, grandfathers, uncles and all guys that have influenced and supported us throughout our lives. To my husband, my father, my father-in-law, my grandfather’s and uncle’s, I am thankful for the wonderful impact you have each made in shaping me and my family, and I am lucky to have each and every one of you!
Photos by: Natalia Cruz