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    Respect and Discipline: The Strength It Takes To Do Both

    Written by: Elyse Sinsay

    When I was a kid growing up, I was taught to respect my elders. When we went to my grandparents’ house, you always said hello and gave them a hug as soon as you got there. When you wanted something you better say please and thank you and when you were told to do something you better say “Yes, Mom” or, “Yes, Dad”. Respect. It seems like such a small and obvious thing but as I look around while I’m out shopping, it’s really something that I see less and less of. And I really don’t know where or when it all changed. It’s like one day I woke up and everyone is all about calling CPS on people for spanking their kid. I mean if they are beating their kid for no reason then yes, please call. But if that same kid was screaming, cursing, and hitting their mother because she won’t buy her a toy just minutes ago then that little monster deserves to get a spank.

    We as parents should not be afraid to discipline our children. Why are we afraid of them? Afraid of hurting them? I can understand that there are circumstances or people who come from abusive situations, but discipline is not abuse and what I am talking about is respect. Respect is us teaching our kids how to be a good person. Not one of these demanding kids we see in the store and feel bad for their mom. I remember when I was a kid, I don’t remember how old I was or what I did, but I was acting a fool. Crying somewhere for one thing or another. And you know what my parents did? They said, “Do you want to go to the car?” now normally you would think, no. but kids throwing tantrums don’t care till they are taught. So my mom took me to the car, gave me a good spanking, let me cry it out, and when I was done, asked me if I was done and told me that if I did that again we would come back to the car. I didn’t want that. So I pulled my crap together and was good. No more outbursts, but I had to learn to be respectful.

    I have had so many talks with other moms and they agree with me as well. There are too many kids that aren’t respectful and just don’t appreciate what they have. I can say that I did not want for much growing up. I had what I wanted and what I needed. That doesn’t mean I got toys every day or every week. I got stuff for Christmas, my birthday and when I did something good/ earned it. I also had an allowance that I earned by doing chores around the house. But that is my point, I earned it. What are we teaching these kids now? How to complain till they get what they want? I know my parents raised me to be smart, strong and respectful. So when was the decision made that teaching our kids those lessons are wrong? CPS worthy? Or non-actionable, they are just kids being kids? When are we going to stop being afraid to parent and do the right thing by our children, and give them some boundaries?

    I’m not saying everyone needs to go home and start spanking their kids but its time to remind them (the kids) that we (the parents) are the bosses and as the parent you should be able to take any action you chose. (Abuse not included, of course.) We need to show them that they will make this world great one day, but not by being a spoiled brat. We love you but you will get nowhere in life by being an ass. Again, I love my kids, but I refuse to let them dictate to me how my house will be run. Every day is a battle. Right now, Liam, is my greatest challenge. He has such a strong will. He brings me to the edge and he’s only two! He thinks he’s the boss in the house, and like to scream back at me when I tell him “No!” I have to be firm, keep telling him no, put him on time out and when he is persistent with his screams, cries, tantrums he gets a swat. I cannot let him win. If he thinks he wins now, then he will he think he can win with me later?

    I also have the mind frame of refusing to be responsible for creating a person of mean hearted character. I don’t want my kid to grow up to be a bully. I want my kid to be the kid that stands up to the bully. So I have to be strong. I can’t feel bad. Even for a moment. We, as parents chose to bring them into this world, but that choice also means that we have to help them walk in the world. The good and the bad. They might not want to hold our hands but we must hold tight to keep them safe so they can grow up strong. Isn’t that what we want? Happy, safe kids? Not just our own but all kids. I know I do. So let us take a page from our stories and be a little braver, a little firmer, and a little stronger. They are our legacies. Let’s leave some good. Until next time ladies, have a very merry un-birthday to you!

     

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